Alhamdulillah our first day of homeschool had past now. At first I was feeling a bit of pressure. I wanted to make sure everything run smooth and of course it's not as I want. I wanted for all of them to do three subject of academic but ended up doing two only. But, we did in between sit and have a chat about motivation, the important of learning, need to give me corporation and boost their own self.
I get them to sit and write about what they dream of, their target and ambition. Than I get them to write down what they need to do to achieve their target and how. As we chat, I did two way communication where I talk and ask them question and get them to think. A shock answer as AS answer me when I ask about what we need to do to achieve our dream. He answer is' " to listen to ummi and work hard." he's only 5 but pretty much understand the life and what i'm chatting about! He sound pretty much like me. Full of motivation, love learning and know why.
I'm also told them the story of my self where I used to homeschool. My mum only bought me a whole set of distance learning and leave me to it. I had no t.v or computer let alone internet. I had small amount of resource and learning tool but I get a good mark in exam as someone who homeschool and taken 8 subject. Plus all the pressure why I had to stay home from others and my own confusion of why can't I go to school as I love learning...I manage to pull my self every time and very much frustrated when I get my result as I know I'm actually did last minute study and can actually do better than that. Although, the result is not far from my cousin who went to a good school and had a personal tutor come to the house.
I told my children what make me succeed is because I had target and I had full motivation in my self and I don't like to be a loser. For me, every body been given the same brain, it's up to us if we gonna used it or not. If only our dream going to be left as dream or we work on it and let it become true dream. Nor me nor hubby can actually give their dream to come true. I can help them by providing them tools they needed, resource, help from me my self, but at the end of the day, it's their choice. If they want their future to be bright and their dream to come true than they have to wake themselves and show me that they have a courage to go for it. I won't be barge them all the time. It's not worth for me to shout, tell them off and etc on learning. I had nobody did that plus I had no help at all, no tutor, no teacher and not even encouragement from family. But, I want it and I want to prove that I want to learn, I love learning and my courage won't be stop by anything. If we want something , it doesn't matter what challenge been put on us, we will get through it by any means. That's what I've done, and that's prove to me and had become important things when I work.
From only after a year with intention to help financial support and don't have any ambition to step into more challenging role in work place, I been given promotion after promotion. With my veil, my success is only because my courage, my motivation that I have which put me through everything and make me a quick and independent learner, enable to squeeze my self in any situation and more important things is I can easily work under strong pressure. From my experience, it does show me that what employer was looking not qualification or big certificate. But desire to learn, to work hard under any condition and that will make one a success anywhere they go. It did prove to me when I used to work where a person with master degree in electrical couldn't do the work and I had to be call in and been told by manager that I had a nature for the job..which I can understand why. This is not to show off my self. But, this is what I said to my children today when we all sit and have a chat for our first new term for our homeschool.
Of course I want them to be like me. Although of course they will have hubby genetic which is for me pretty much less self motivated. Although he did achieve a lots in term of learning but still there a time where he can't reach me at all and it does give me a hard time to get him to reach me. So, I had to cover where hubby genes is in my children with my genes. But, in a way to do that I notice that I had to give more pushing everyday in term of self motivation. I believe the only one I will struggle is PS. Although I'm sure it's because her transition time now as she reach teenager world. Because she always have a high self motivation but get down below what I expected now. It does give me a shock sometimes when you see your helpful daughter turn to be the laziest person in the house although her room always spotless. But, I'm trying to understand and remind my self about me on her age. Although I have strong self motivation still confusion and laziness did came on me at that time. Handling PS at this time is very crucial and tricky time.
Alhamdulillah, reading others experience, go back to my own experience and understanding teenage world now a days which is differ than mine did help a lots. From time to time, I did see the wake up call as one day she's full of motivation and the other day she looks like lost. But, it her hormone is going up and down and make her confuse on her self sometimes. She will anyway talk to me about anything she feel which is a big good things about her. At the moment, she's not a hard and tough teenager. She is a very much helpful and care person but compare to what she used to be of course I can tell the different. But, I have to accept that she is growing, she change day by day and I have to observe, monitor and guide her as she need and when needed.
Sometimes I did feel lost, lost of how to conduct her, to react towards her action, to understand her feeling or if what I've been doing is right or not. It's a big stress having a daughter. Although she can be trust and she pretty much a good teenager, but I still worried and worried as this is my first experience and it will determine either the way I'd done is working or not. It's a big test for me, and I will not knowing it sooner but it will take couple of years before I know..I just have to wait and see...
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