Half term

The original plan was to have half term holiday according to PS online school First College. But, as she had left First College since a week ago, I decided to just follow public school half term as the boys will have friends around. Only AS got proper plan date for some subject which can easily change to next week when I first plan the holiday. 

It was alright at the moment. We had to go down to Loughborough for a visit of a dear friend with her husband who suddenly had to make decision to go back to Malaysia. We spend a night there and before afternoon as derive back home. Me and M had a great conversation and chat that night as hub and her husband and MS iktikaf at the masjeed as there are one local jamaat from Northampton. M is hafizah and also Alimah. She had also spend some good two years at South Africa Darul Ulom but had to continue her study in Malaysia due to health problem. But, that two years had made her a different than Darul Ulum student which only study in Malaysia. All her sibling is either already hafiz and Hafizah and Alim and Alimah or is still in Darul Ulum and some of them that already finish also pursuing academic courses in Malaysia. 

Therefore it was a nice conversation and chat that I need which in some way had made me having a lesson upon sharing my own experience. Sometimes you didn't realise what you been through, understand through out until you had open up your own mouth. On the way back home, we stop by at Dewsbury for Zohr and asar prayer , and while hub praying at Markazi Masjeed, I stop by Sister SS. Sister SS is actually daughter of Malaysian literature  writer in Malaysia, A Samad Said. She married with a Gujerati couple of years back. She was lucky to be able to live at the heart of Islamic environment in Dewsbury. She is a teacher for nearly 30 years and she's now teaching Muslim Girls schools in Science. We haven't seen each other for quiet sometimes and the meeting was great. She cooked us some lunch although only with a short notice. We had a good time until nearly 5 pm when we depart from Dewsbury and arrived home one and half hour later. 

Sunday was relaxing day. me and the girls went to weekly Taaklim in Sunderland. Monday was also a relaxing day, well, tiring day for me as I was just waiting for my weekly menstrual. I was really dragging this time, probably because of less rest weeks and weeks before. I had invited a friend to come for dinner after she finish work. We than had a good chat till about 9 pm. She just moved to the town we live from Sunderland. The only Malaysian where we live. Her house is about ten minutes from our house. She got one boy same age as AS. She married with local English man that become muslim upon married. She wasn't a practice muslim herself but now realise how important deen is. As she got no one here, and don't really know local muslim, I know that I had to make sure I engage some sort of relationship with her to encourage and motivate her and Insya Allah to pull her husband interest towards bringing deen into his life as well. Therefore this meeting and chat is good and important. 

I was busy before and haven't got much time for others outside the house and really need to concentrate on my own family. But, at some point, community is also important. Especially other muslim sister in need. I believe that if we got the courage and motivation, than we had to try to share it with other sister who is lack of courage and motivation to get back on track with deen. It's part of the responsibility which I had to bear with me at some point. 

Today was another lazy day. I had spend time resting and sleeping. But, manage to clear up and tidy up around the house after waking up, feel really fresh, Alhamdulillah. I manage to scrub kitchen as well and still got some of other things to do around the house, such as cleaning the fridge and sort out me and my husband clothes to folded and out in place and ironing, at least iron to be done for three weeks ahead. Which can help me a lots once we start back on our study. Also try to sort out paperwork related to PS new registration with Interhigh. Than start to finish off study planner for all three kids.

I am due to bring kids for some outdoor, if they want. I am not really sure. It has been raining heavily since last night. Seems weather forecast said it will be raining in the next couple of days. Although in the afternoon it was pretty lovely and the boys was playing outside. 

Although we are not on study schedule, I found kids are working on Art and Craft. PS was making something with colour paper and etc. Each of them got sketch pad I bought from The Works. AS suddenly had show her talent and shine out brilliantly in Art. Very very impress. Just like MS when he was small. The drawing come with fine detail. Well, my mum side , all are brilliant in arts. Hub also got a good hand for art. I am very creative myself and mostly decoration in the class when we was in primary school made by me since I was in year 1! But, I wasn't really best on drawing but more on decoration, making schedule and thing for display such as poster is my strength. I love sticking and glueing as well. PS had a big passion in Art but unfortunately don't have nature for it in her. It's come from her constant practise and love for it. Although she is good in term of creativity. Just similar in my situation but I was more patient. S is good and creative as well and much more patient. She just don't have confident much in drawing and think she's bad in it as she compare with MS and AS. Both the boys just born with it! It's really MS strong area. He also can go through detail drawing. Which can make him a good Design Engineer like hub. But, he didn't really be able to make decision yet although I think product design is a very good course for him. 

I probably had another task tomorrow to bring another new sister to meet another local sister. This new sister, her husband transfer from US to UK and working same place as my husband. They originally Pakistani. I will bring her and her tow kids to meet another local Pakistani sister tomorrow Insya Allah if everything goes fine. She just been here less than a year and didn't know anybody except us. She had help cooked for my kids during my stay in the hospital when I had hot oil burn. Masya Allah, may Allah reward her. So, I was trying to fill in some other responsibilities for people outside my house at the moment during this half term. I had plenty more in the list, but had to go through one by one Insya Allah. 

We will have man jamaat from Malaysia in the area from Thursday night to Saturday. We probably will have ad hoc prograam at my house for Malaysian sister. I will also be busy cooking for them, Insya Allah. Sunday   Insya Allah we will attend a local event at a place which hub had been volunteer working with steam engine in Sunderland. I will have to try to squeeze one hour weekly taaklim as well, Insya Allah.

We will also need to try to fetch some halal meat in Newcastle as all our ration in the freezer had finish. I wasn't sure when but got to be done sometimes this week. Insya Allah hopefully it will be meaning full half term off to help me to do couple of things to refresh the whole house. 

Holiday?

I am so desperate for a holiday. So I can seat down and sorting out the study plan. I just hate it when I had to keep doing it half way and stop in between. It's ok once I start, but once it's gone, it's hard to come back again. I will have many tabs open in google chrome and lots of workbook around me, plus printing paper here and there. I don't like doing this in day time as I cannot concentrate if kids disturb me plus many other task in between. Weekend is unlikely easy as well. I had been doing this on and off, and I hate the situation so much and really need for a break which I had schedule a week after next week. I was thinking should I give the holiday same as school next week?

I had follow the holiday from PS Online School, First college. We than decide that she finish last week, therefore she can have three weeks off before she set on Inter High from 7 November 2011. Therefore I was thinking of some activities outside while PS also off next week with some local activities. But, I had set up schedule until end of next week, but only for AS at the moment. I will have to see if I can squeeze the work still next week while we go somewhere around. We don't plan to go anywhere far, just to see local activities that offer.

AS on Maths - Had done with temperature topic, after quiet a lots of worksheet and many days on it. Than he was on money problem for couple of days and today he start on Shapes. This worksheet is from Mindsprinting.    

AS on English - He's on CGP key stage one Advance workbook. Today he learn about writing story and also comprehension. it was easy for him this book, but I just want to go through it to finish it all and there are some of the things that help him to improve his English. Some of the day he do mindsprinting, some of the day he do spelling and some of the day he do writing stories in his blog.

As on Science - He still on science CGP workbook Key stage one. Tomorrow he should finish with it. Insya Allah. We been doing 6 pages a day this week as I didn't sort out the other subject yet.

 I am going to order Key stage 2 Geography for him from CGP. Which come with 2 set.

Islamic studies is with revision about Kalimah tayibbah, Kalimatus Shahadah and and Kalimahtut Tamjeed or the third Kalimah. He already know all this. Today and yesterday he did this with the others. Also we start memorise first hadith from Deeniyat I print before. It was easy. So we just sit in the circle and kids say it one by one from right to left. Than we go though Asmaul Husna for first lesson and sunnah of eating. They learn sunnah of eating but this things we will go through again and again. We had been Alhamdulillah doing more in practical than in theory. PS was asking about using dining table. I was than explain that nothing harm od using dining table, but in every sunnah there are rewards and benefit. Eating is for as long as we live and if we sit on the chair, we will miss lots of rewards in following what out beloved Prophet saw had been doing. We say that we love him, yet we don't want to follow his way. When we sit and eat on the floor, we be able to put dasktahan and sit either folded one leg or both leg. That is two sunnah that we will miss if we sit on the chair with dining table. May he we can lay dasktahan on the table, but still the I believe that there are significant and benefit in sitting down the way had been shown by our beloved Prophet saw. Also others sunnah which is also a manner table such as start eating with the food that is nearest to you. So you do not have to stretch your hand far away. All of this was told in the hadith. It's all simple Islamic studies we been learning that kids do hear this now and again , but I believe it is important to go through this again and again.

Quran learning as usual. Kids moving every other day. Little but with good pronunciation. Alhamdulillah.

Doing schedule and plan homeschool, do need planned and proper time off. As it can be very tight. Alhamdulillah it was somewhat need for my kids after a year without proper schedule and planning. When they getting older, planning and scheduling is very important to me. Although time frame can be vary because the work for smaller kids can be easy and harder and taking more times for older kids. But, I think small kids especially under 7 no need to be too rigid with scheduling and planning. But, routine is what important in term of sleeping time, eating time, cleaning and tidying around. They need routine time, but not rigid and schedule learning time as I think it will restrict their childhood and stress us out. But, once they reach 7, than slowly we need to introduce planning and scheduling. To instil responsibilities in them. When they reach 11, I think planning is indeed need to be force into , to enable them to start taste into real world that more challenge than before.

Catching Up

As I was busy for the past months, I felt like I want to try to catch up everything in one go. The feeling of over excited! But, Alhamdulillah I try not to burn out myself. Therefore I try to cool down as well and take it easy. At least this way, I could see what I need to see in order to put some plan out for the kids in some other subject. For Maths is easy because there no need much explanation. But for other subject such as Geography, Science, History , Islamic Studies especially will required me to sit and discuss. Unless when they do something they already know and occupy with text book and workbook.

The big problem is , I am so fussy. Therefore whenever I find a book especially with good bargain, I buy them. Which at the end, I ended up with many workbook for the same key stage. Well, sometimes I found them in car boot sale. Who can resist 50 pence CG workbook or text book? I can't. Than it will be Home Bargain, or Wilkinson, or The Works. I will go crazy. I had stop going to WH Smith! Otherwise I cannot help myself to top up my collection. But, workbook can be very handy. As an evidence of learning.

For me, we learn anywhere and any time. Workbook in some way help to practise and to see the understanding of one particular subject. Therefore now, I am on the way to sort out our big pile of workbook. I am not going to satisfy with workbook, but at least it give me time to sort out the planning and it help me to see the clear picture of the topic, sub topic, where needed to be top up and etc.

Friday looks like always a rushing day. Especially sometimes hub will want to sort out something and drag me along the way. Therefore I haven't sure about Friday yet now.

Yesterday morning I got sleep over after hub went to work. I got headache since two days before yesterday and I just not bother at all. When I check my blood pressure, it was 103/68 . Which I think why I got this strong headache. I am always struggle with low blood pressure since I was teenager. I had to take a bit more salt into my food to try to stabilise it. I was thinking about forty five minutes nap, but wake up after one hour and forty five minutes! Alhamdulillah felt better and start to get on with kids homeschool. Alhamdulillah the night before, on Sunday night I make sure the whole house tidy and hover and clean. Ready for the next morning. It's either I tidy and clean after hubby off work, before kids come down, or kids help me the night before.

We manage to done all four subject, Maths, English , Science and Islamic Studies. Of course Quran reading as well. This time I had separated between the big three and AS. I think it will be too hard for him as I usually do lots of talk and of course the two way communication with kids means many interruption in between. One hours work usually done in two hours. It wasn't easy to control the crowd sometimes and Alhamdulillah Allah had grant me with so much patient and wisdom these days.

I had done AS science planning until end of next month at the moment and still continue doing it until possibly Feb-March. Alhamdulillah. I could see clearly what I need to do. Although we did science a bit here and there for the past year, I know that Insya Allah we can easily catch up. At the moment , he finishing CGP Key Stage 1 science. He doing 6 pages a days and Insya Allah should finish by next week. Than we will continue with revision for key Stage one or go deeper in to the subject by worksheet. Than we will jump  into the next textbook which for 9-10 years old from letts. Than I will have another workbook waiting and in between we will do some set up experiment. AS will do science two days a week. Monday and Tuesday. Wednesday and Thursday will be for Geography and Friday for History. This plan possibly cover up until Feb or March or possibly April. We will see how far we go. I expect us to be able to cover 2 years ahead according to curriculum. BUT, for Geography it might be different things, as I will cover things that UK curriculum not cover as well. But, what I want is to cover as much as we can for Key stage 2 Geography in these couple of months and than slow down to one day and the other day will than be used for IT. So do science. I believe in the way we going at the moment, AS should be able to cover some curriculum for Key Stage 2, at least for Year 4 and 5. Than We will reduce to 1 day and replace the other day with Design and Technology.

Similar plan will be done with S and MS. But how long will depends on how much we can cover and how deep we need to cover. Because I might delay some of the topic to make sure we go deeply into certain topic.

I had struggle for Islamic studies as well actually. I had found many good one, but not the one that I like pretty much. But, Alhamdulillah I got a link to these beautiful set of book from sunni forum. The only things is, kids had know some of the things and I want them to cover up more on the same topic, so I didn't print up in order, but print up the one I want and set it up in planning. I am now done AS one to one and the other three at the same time. The best about this book, it guide teacher through when each topic need to be teach and over how long the period will be. We can circle under each topic after we do the lesson until the period of teaching is done. I like this as I believe the scholars who did this got a lots of experience with children and also over the lesson. It's also got teacher guide along the way. Only for Masa'il or Fikh I used from the one I got from South Africa. I am not yet had proper plan, but we had start with some topic. The book actually cover everything needed from Quran reading, tajweed, hifz for important juz from Juz 30. Seerah, hadith and one of the best is tarbiyah or deeni upbringing. It's also got a chapter which help to teach kids how to give bayan/ speech or dakwah. Subhana Allah...it was nearly complete for me , only I had to alter according to my kids level and some that will be too too easy for them. At the moment, for English there only 3 books, hopefully they will add some more later on.

We are not istiqamah yet on this, but Insya Allah it hopefully after half term we will be able to istiqamah with all four subject, Islamic Studies, Quran reading and project/experiment every day. This is my target. I am gradually increasing this. There are some day we might loose a bit, but still we are building it up. Also they will need motivation one after another. Insya Allah.

I am very busy. I would love to share more into this blog on many topic, but I just haven't got time. Probably after my plan had settle, than I will be able. I want to share on how things goes for us during unschooling, my busy time and why we need plan and how things can be different challenge and how I try to go along with things, twist things and swap things around.

A mix busy days

I was busy, not sure if we are actually achieve much. I had to be on the go these couple of days. There are always things every day need to get sorted outside Post office, groceries, and suddenly printer is 'jem' and need to exchange. And it's all happen in different days. Which left me shattered. Plus variety of cooking one menu after another. One of the things that I had felt so much more now, cooking. Not just PS who eat more
than my portion even hub portion and MS as well. But, now I had S as well eating like an adult portion.

AS always eat a good portion anyway. So, from time to time now I've been cooking for six adult portion. 

Alhamdulillah although PS was busy, she still help me in the kitchen. Although only me doing a lots of cooking now, all of them still help me in between their study. Sometimes I do feel sorry especially for PS as she hard quiet a lots of workload. But, I don't want that as an excuse of not helping around. She still help clean toilet, doing laundry, doing dishes, clean up the kitchen and all other task. So do MS and S. I can see that it seems piles up a lots on them as their study as well, but still they need to learn, life is not that easy. In the near future, if they work, they still had to run and do other things to survive and to fulfil basic needs. Study is not an excuse not helping around.

 With AS I had manage to keep on track with him. With her Maths is on the schedule. We did on topic of TIME. telling time and also elapsed time. I think he find it a bit difficult at first and was asking why he got to learn all this things as he already know how to tell time. I give an example, if we about to take a plane from Newcastle airport at certain time, we need to calculate what time we should be there and what time we should depart from our house and how long will it take to reach there and etc. Alhamdulillah he understand after little bit of explanation. Also after a lecture and warning if he seem to be moody first thing in the morning help to improve the situation. If he felt like moody and angry, he try to pull himself back and get on with his work. He has got to learn a lesson and teach himself that life is not always easy. I for one will not let him get his own way too much now. I think he learn the lesson.

 Now we are on topic of temperature. We had been on this topic since yesterday and will still on temperature topic on Monday before we moved into Money Problem. My worksheet is from variety of website include Enchanted learning, Ed Helper, Primary Resource and Parents in Touch. We also did some Geography lesson last week, we talk about atlas, Me and AS only. Than we talk about latitude and longitude. That latitude and longitude is an imaginary line which help to determine the position anywhere in the world.

As also start doing some science from his workbook. We just going to finish key Stage one workbook as I got couple of them. We also did some lesson about plant which in notebook which I print out some worksheet and get him to draw plant with root, leave, stem and flowers. Just to get him to do some drawing related to science. Like I mention before, my kids had plenty of knowledge in science, but I just need to help them to bring their info and knowledge into writing and how to document what they know.

Quran reading is better. He seems to concentrate more after the lecture. Therefore his Quran reading also improved when he concentrate. I point this out to him, so he recognise the improvement and things get easy because the change that he made. It's depends on him big time to work with me to make our learning easy. For me, there are some of the things that need to enforce , but at the same time I do not want them to learn for the sake of study and me. Certain things they cannot see the benefit it of course. Therefore from time to time I had to explain, motivate and remind them that the purpose of learning is not for me.

AS English is fine. He start write on his own blog. He got three fiction writing now done. But, none of them with punctuation! Anyway, this is for him to kick off with ideas and transfer it into writing. He also did some workbook. Today we learn about poem.

We haven't done much of Islamic Studies formally. On Friday, we all watch video from you tube about The mahdi, lecture by Sheikh Mumtaz Ul Haq, Masya Allah, very resourceful and beneficial talk. Things like this is to remind us about the purpose of life and how life in the near future will not be easy and only the chosen one that will stay to live and keep steadfast.

 MS as usual on his Conquer Maths. He is on C-A level now. He wasn't enjoy much, but I told him he need to finish it and than I can print out all his record and unsubscribe Conquer Maths. I was thinking of using IXL  UK for S and AS just to top up their worksheet. it's just me. I am very fussy and like mix and match! By end of this months, when MS finish his Conquer Maths he will start do revision with Key stage 3 revision workbook and test paper. We will than go over each topic for Key stage 4 with plenty combine worksheet and workbook and test paper.

I had bough couple of books for MS to read. He always borrow book from library. Now I want him to read the book that I choose. Which will be a bit challenge for him. Also he is a slow reader. I determine to tackle his English my own way. Start with improving his reading skill, than transfer ideas into paper before we go deep into different type of writing such as debating and argumentation.

MS Quran Reading also improve a lots. He know went to moved himself or when to keep practise on the same part. I think he will get better reading than PS. With concentration of tajweed as well, Alhamdulillah. He was slow reader as his academic reading, but Insya Allah we make sure it's right. So I don't want to push too much and create a rush type of reading instead of proper pronunciation.

He work with S on Science as before. The different is, before I just get them to do the work with revision guide book without me sitting there with them. I don't really pay much attention as before as I know they understand and have much knowledge and lots of info about science like I said. The only things is they did not know how to transfer their understanding into writing and documentation. This is what I need to work with them. But, as they understand how things work and many of other info and knowledge in science, it won't be hard. So I had sit with them and they got many of question that they skip. They understand but do not know how to explain things in writing which they reason is they not understand at all. When I sit and start to read the revision book and explain, they give me boring face that they already learn about it!! I told them off..oh yes..especially MS. I said that if you already learn and understand you should be able to transfer your understanding into the answer. Therefore I sit and help them on couple of question of how the answer should be for science and how to use our understanding and transfer it into answer and explanation. Alhamdulillah they had go through many topic they left some question unanswer before. Therefore MS and S will be on science for a while as I want them to get rid of key stage 2 workbook. I know, MS is on key stage 4. But, his knowledge in his brain and mind is advance than some topic in key stage 4. Only like I mention, we need to work on transferring the understanding and the knowledge into explanation and scientific evidence in science. Than Insya Allah I will be guide them both for year 7 science workbook and revision book from letts and lonsdale. Therefore now, I can start make plan for their science as I can see what we will be cover and what material we will used. I will mix and match in between with their science notebook as I want them to be able to draw the experiment and other science picture.

S is still with mindsprinting for her Maths. She still on division topic. I had print out with date planned for her worksheet until next month. She will be doing division possibly until end of the year. She find it too much at first, but after many days, she said it's getting better and easy. I had her do two set of worksheet together  a day which mean four worksheet of it.

S also had her own blog which she mostly blog about animal. That is in some way, part of her English. She had done her English on her workbook until I sort something out. All three of them is in need of their English to be planned out. AS is ok at the moment as he got mindsprinting as well to get him going, plus workbook and he also did his spelling twice a week now. I am in need to sort out MS and S, but will probably try to plan them both in the same lesson plan.

So, there one by one subject we try to go through. I haven't touch History yet. I think I want to sort out English and Science first. Than geography, than History. I got new material for Islamic studies. Plus many of books to be finish. I do feel stress out in some way, think that kids are behind in some area and things like that. But than, I think that I shouldn't. We are homeschool. We are easy to cover up the area need to. I just need to calm down, take one things at the same time and plan things that will help in the near future. Rushing will not do any good. Also to see how things go and than take it from there is better than plan, than ditch up the plan altogether.

Lecture

As had been moody and grumpy for couple of days last week.As I had in my mind of three other grown up kids, sometimes I lost the plot with him. Probably as he are mix and socialise with people around who are older than him, sometimes I behave like he is one. But, his not. Of course as eight years old kid, he will have his up and down. He will crave the attention especially being the youngest in the family, for the time being!  (Only Allah know what's gonna come in the future, so I dare to say he is the youngest forever).

He is at some point is spoil. He didn't go to bed as in bed time as little kids as the others. The others will go to bed around 8-8.30 pm. As I was less busy while he is still little, (while with the others, when I start working full time, PS was only five years old), he got to join more with our other activities as the older had to do such as taraweeh prayer and magrib and insya prayer in the summer. Which had lead him to getting used going to bed at the same time as all other family member. Alhamdulillah since age four and a half, he seems had completed nearly three quaters of his insya prayer during that four years. He also had join taraweeh prayer since he is four and half years old with motivation and determination. Almost complete each day with less than one hand been left due to sleep.

Still he is eight years old. Still he will at some point behave like and eight years old. Hub sometimes did tell him off, if  his voice imitated a toddler. None of my kids actually used to talk with baby talk except MS whose still mumble until age three and hard to understand. But, none of them actually sound like half way through a words. All of them will say a complete words each time. Not at all sound babyish. Therefore if As imitate the babyish sound and the words not sound complete, it will be very annoying to us, well hub especially.

At some point , I think we almost forget that he is still younger kid. I do realise from time to time possibly because he live with older people, kid in that kind of environment intend to class as clever than collect more info than the one that not. Sometime we forget that they might gain more knowledge and info, but psychological needs, emotional and maturity is not reach the same knowledge and level of thinking that they had.

I'm always out this into my mind. Which had leave me to be class as spoil him from the my other kids point of view. Especially PS of course. Being the eldest in the family, of course she will be the one who had been brought up with full discipline. Also as the others who had been brought up in the situation that I had to work hard to help our family financially, they used to been in the chat of understand ummi situation and feelings. This is a very less case with AS.

Yesterday I just remind myself how I was always talk about my feeling with AS. Like I used to with the others when they small. AS he was being moody and grumpy these couple of days, which to ensure he getting on with his school work, I had try to be patient with the moody face to get the work done. The thing is, if he start to be moody and we already start with some work, he will determine to finish the work, even I told him to go and just do what he want to. All the time it's not the case of study or learning, but other things. Such wanted something small or someone cannot fulfil or help him getting something or do something. Small things unfortunately had impact his moods sometimes for half of the day.

Well, at some point he is also a mirror of myself. Moody with tiny things, easy to get grumpy and won't leave things easy. The bad mood is hard to throw away! Just like I was when I was small. But, the greatest strength of me that he had was high motivation, know what he want and will stick and continue his aim and target.

Anyway, he weakness that he got is not good at all to him especially and will effect my day through out. Therefore yesterday I think it's about time. To push him away because I just fed up or cannot comprehend or had a patient to argue is no good. The best things is as what I had done with others. Sit and talk and giving some lecture about the whole situation, my feeling, my emotion and my patient. All the others are used to have to think about how I feel first than what they feel when they are at that age and when they small. Because life is not always turn into what they want or what they desire. This nagging will be become a bad habit although at some point it was a small things that easy to fulfil. Kids will always push us to the edge with small thing which we think it's easy to give up than stood up. I had done many giving up with AS which I am always stood up on my feet firm with others.

Well, when the age getting older, we are in some way having more wisdom towards things and others around us. Which is good at some point, but this is one of the reason that the youngest in the family is spoilt as well. I am trying not to let my much wisdom act, controlling somewhat needed firm the kids needs.

Yesterday I decided to pull a chat as AS started to pull moody face. I told him that I cannot keep my patient much anymore. It's not fair with me. I had to keep upset and be patient all the time. How about him? He need to pull his weight as well on pushing his need that some of the time are nonsense but just to pull more attention. Like he didn't get an attention! But, I guess being an eight years old whose parents being surround by two teenager and one pre teenager can be really daunting sometimes which make him getting less attention and the chat that he need. I am almost forget sometimes Probably I had pull so many chat like that when the other three was small. talking about how tired I am after work. How I need their help, how we are tight financially and how we had to pull out weight to help each other and support each other. I used to talk with full feeling and emotion that will create tears in their eyes. Although most of the time I wasn't actually tired or feel bad at all, but I will pull the act to create sorry feeling in them for me in order to make them understand at some point that life is not just play and easy going. This had been my games with the other three which help into create lots of sympathy, responsibility and empathy in them. To be empathy with other, for me is very important.

Alhamdulillah of course the lecture is working with AS. I just realise as soon as we had our little chat with my firm voice, that this is what he need. me to be more firm with him. This is always what below ten years old need. Firmness from the parents, but most of the time we think they need what they show us, attention.

I know that I will have to had many of this conversation from time to time with AS again and again. Usually when he was moody and grumpy, I will just let him off away from my face. He will than be like that for hours and hours although most of the time, the moody is not from me and about me! But, I said to him that I he is the one who will be a looser in his later future. Life is not always as we want. Life is not going to listen to us all the time. Acting and behave hard to ourself will only make us looser, not others. Nobody will care. We will have to act upon how we behave. Neither me will care at the end. He is my son, but I am here to be responsible to him, but if he did not want to help pull himself together, I don't bother to be there for him. Although of course in my heart and mind, I will have to take some part of responsibility and will not let him off letting himself into miserable. As a mother that had been given responsibility by Allah swt, I had in some way find a way and will never give up. I believe there always be a way that sometimes we be blinded of because of our ego as a parents or another problem we had in life. Kids is always in some way a victim of parents problem. We sometimes get so much into our own problem and our ego also had taken much of our decision making.

Which is why I think parents had to be professional in way of thinking and not let their own problem and emotion run down of how we deliver our responsibility towards our kids.

I am still due to a chat with PS alone. She's fine, but I think she is in need having a time off with me alone. Most of the time, I forgot that they do need attention from me only for themselves as having the other sibling all the time around mean the time will be divided almost every time. Especially since she started her online school. I do have some extra time alone with MS who usually help me around or in deed had to come with me even with a small reason such as going to recycling centre. I had in some way got to depends on MS as my mahram and help me around more as a big man, Alhamdulillah. But, PS most of the time stuck with her school and lots of homework.

S is in the middle of tickling my head and nerves. Although I take it easily all the time. She is the one who was the most quiet in the family, now had become someone who are very challenging to confront with. Cheeky probably the suitable word for her at the moment. She will get her own way with the smartest behaviour than all. She is in some way a true British! How she don't actually think she is Malaysian. In subtle way, she get what she want! She also conquer her siblings in her own way! I just cannot imagine, she will be much more challenging than PS, which I don't think will give me too much stress, but just a challenge that I am ready now to confront. Just make me smile inside to see how my four kids , all giving me their own set of challenge!

I remember, elderly people back in home country used to tell story, that when you had hard time with the kids at some point, they will be your heaven at the other point. I saw MS, and think how hard it was when he was small. How it was hard for me to have to stood and firm with him. To have to fight with his anger. But, Subhana Allah.....he is my calmness now, although he did sometimes get on my nerves, but still....Than I look at PS before when she was small. How she is the one that is my hope, my intelligent and brilliant responsible daughter. Not that she is not now, but the challenge came after. Than it was S, who also is the most easiest one to look after when she was small. Imagine, at the age of 4-5 months, she will sit in her walker and fall as sleep in there as I sometimes forgot about her at all! (what happen is all my kids will wake up around 6-7 am when they small, than around 8-9 am, I will give them shower and change them and feed them, than by 10- 10.30 am they will go back to sleep. The same routine continue until they were at least one years old. after they wake up, I will put them on the floor or in the walker is they are four + month old. I will than get on with my routine of getting the other ready to school and cleaning. Sometimes I was busy, that I forget about S until around 10 am, she will fall as sleep on her own in the walker without changing and feeding! that is how good she is, Masya Allah!) She was still quiet until recently when she reach the number 11! Oh, how she change! Even all of us, especially PS notice the change so much. Sometimes it can be amazing topic for us as we (me and kids especially) love to talk about human nature. And how we see change in ourself or in them! I am now expecting some bigger challenge from S looking at how quiet and good she used to.

I even look back at some other stories. How good lots of kids are when they small and even before they get married, than things started to change! I had seen lots of change in people around me after their marriage life. Lots of them who are hard to look after and giving bi challenge to the parents before marriage, had actually come out the best after marriage. Lots of who seems forgotten because they are so easy to look after that nobody notice their existent, had actually giving unexpected challenging that will shock badly! I am preparing myself and trying to rectify this before the time come. I had in some way looking back into people from where we came from, not from the other with different background, culture and language. Because even our kids are brought up in different environment and mentality from back home, we as a parents cannot deny that our mentality and upbringing still playing a big role in our role as parents. Although we had been in foreign land and had change us into different perspective, still we will had that sort of way of thinking which many of the experience will had to be learn from people that come from the same background and culture as us.

Subhana Allah...what an experience of bringing up the kids..and the need of twisting the way and learning new experience from day to day.

Istiqamah

One thing that I do had a problem from time to time...and had to push myself hard and the only things that I am always worries..Istiqamah. To learn, to act the first, second and third is easy, but to istiqamah and maintain is the one that struggle and hard to look after. Which is why, I don't like to put much expectation, reading too much of a theory, as reality in life is somewhat different. I don't like burn out. If I cannot istiqamah or maintain, I try to make sure I got a valid reason for that as much as I can.

As I know my weakness, I try to to over do things. Well, I know my capability in some way. I know how far I can go in doing things and how far I can push myself into. On certain things that not every day routine. But, when it comes to every day routine, I like to try the best to maintain, therefore...I don't like to overdo it...Although I do find it motivate and somewhat of stress seeing or reading others do things that I wanted to do...but no...I do what I find best for my family...and I am the most important person in the family. I am the back bone, therefore it's not worth me stress and burn out..something I had to try not to..But, also not good if I am a bit lay back and not istiqamah..

Therefore I am trying so hard to maintain the schedule. Although it wasn't actually on the dot and the time that we should, but I do make sure we are in the time frame roughly. For example, according to my schedule, they should awake and start tidy up at around 8-8.30 am. But, this can goes up to 9am. Just to give them a bit more time. As long as by 9.45 am, everyone already tidy their bed, sort out themselves and have breakfast and tidy the breakfast and start their quran reading. The most allowance time is 10 am. Only yesterday we seems a bit late , pass 10, usually either at 9.45 am or even at 9.30 am. As they get used to, they already been awake by around 8-9 am anyway. Although still some time I had to shout and scream at them to wake up. Honestly sometimes I don't bother to go up stairs and to their room and wake them up. usually the boy will heard me and AS will go and knock his sisters room.

Alhamdulillah it has been three weeks since we on my schedule homeschool which I hope and intend to keep with it, Insya Allah. I start to have many enquiry about my business, but manage to hold it at the moment. I had to keep my priority on top even though at the same time, I do need some extra financial help if I can keep my business as well. But, I rather squeeze at some point to keep the homeschool and house in order.

Alhamdulillah it wasn't hard to keep the kids on track. PS as usual with her online school, which we actually decide that she will be moved to another online school after half term. Well, another story actually. First college is ok, a nice small online school. But, rather the owner who is also the headteacher and her husband is also doing many other things such as bed and breakfast business. This had of course having some impact toward the kids especially for the class which on exam year. Therefore after PS discussion with her schoolmate, as one by one are moving, we think that she should as well. The other one will be a bit more expensive, but never mind. Money is not everything. But, the new one will have school on five days a week instead of four days as now. Therefore it's worth the money in some way. I had already register her on the new one. we had been dragging to do this since last term, but PS wasn't sure much. She had learn a lots from First college, I cannot deny that. They had teach her and make her better in term of learning in this past year. But, I think they didn't grasp the capability of some student. Especially student who are homeschool intend to be learning faster than the kids that in school. The other one seems better and more organise as well.

For the other three, I am still planning their work. Also at some point, I just had some plan in my head and we just get into it while we going. Well, I usually make sure I prepare a night before at least. For Maths is not a problem at all for three of them. English at the moment is the create the interest. Seems it going on well. MS had started on his second essay. S and As on their first. But, AS got mindsprinting almost every day. S also got some comprehension in between. I am looking to combine English part with the other subject. At the moment we had done geography for couple of lesson. Once I get going, I think it's better as I know where to continue and how to plan here and there. Therefore if I made a plan before it might be a waste, as I will than will find some of the things need to be change and twist. So, planning on some subject while I going, is better for us, I think. Also now, I can combine MS and S on Geography, Science and History.

History is not our favourite part due to many untold and different told in the curriculum itself. Therefore I will had to subject to Horrible history which I had big package of that which I bought in car boot sale for £20. Yes, a whole set of it including poster and lots of other things. Kids always watch Horrible histories from time to time. Their favourite TV program. So, they knew better than me, much much better than me. They can also explain to me on who, when and what. Only that I have to find the way to document this and help them to explain things in History through writing.

I had many of science reference and tools for experiment. I had to study more and to do a bit more research to see how I can get the plan done. The worst thing is I am so fussy...ha..ha..this is one of the problem for my planning. I want to make sure I cover everything needed, but in simple way, can pull everybody interest and etc, I had to bear in mind also, that kids including eight years old AS had so much information about Science from documentary, how things work and many kids science program in TV. That is what our TV work for. Science, History and Geography. They can sit and teach me a whole lots of things and information. Including from you tube as well. The lesson than will be sort of pretty much they teaching me and I will just provide the material for them to document and teach them how to put things in paper such as graph, chart, writing report through experiment and etc.

Overall, I do felt grateful for our istiqamah and I know many things can still and need to be done.

On Islamic studies we start to touch several topic. As usual, fiqh is an important topic for me to revise and discuss with kids. Our first lesson is concentrate on what fiqh is. How Fiqh derive from the commandment of Allah through quran and hadith. How important for us to learn fiqh to ensure what we doing is within halal and haram. What valid and what invalid. Also we discuss about how mazhab derive, how important for us and why important for us to keep on tract of the mazhab although if we go and learn in madrasah, we become alim and alimah, still we cannot do ijtihad to pick and choose. We not going to have the tawqa as the four imam especially with extensive experience and the time they live is near to the time of the Prophet than any other scholars now a day. Therefore it's important also to know how the fiqh that we learn from the quran and hadith came from. From the Prophet, the Sahabah, Tabiin, mujtahid, alim and ulamak. Although we can read and understand arabic fluently, that is not a case at all to pick and choose and interpreted the Quran and the Hadith ourself. Pick and choose on our own as many knowledge now a days had drag people into this issue which I am always put stress in my kids. It's important for us to trust the mujtahid, the alim and ulamak than ourself in this issue. As our nafs is high and our taqwa is not as high as them. A very important issue for me that I do discuss with kids before but a bit more deeply now.

We also start to talk about Hajj. Play with Hajj game as well. I was planning to get them to make a map of Hajj ritual, Insya Allah. Something that we will try to work together. I remember, kids had assembly in school when they were small. During Hajj time, one class will be doing assembly about Hajj, (yes, this is public school) they will make a kaabah and kids will do assembly about tawaf and wearing ihram and etc. It's lovely! I was thinking of doing similar thing!

I am very please with the istiqamah that we had with our routine. Once this become a habit, I am going to start to introduce rules in our daily life and routine Insya Allah. I am trying to bring our daily routine into something that please Allah swt and the way that our house should be, to become a madrasah. Not just in term of learning and teaching, but in practical life. Our iman and amal. This is my target. Insya Allah.

I know one family who homeschool all their three kids. One of them already married with five kids, now living in US. The second daughter now doing degree in Maths. The first one also done degree in Maths. Both done and doing it from Open University. The third daughter is doing A level. All their sons , three of them I think , two is hifz and Alim, teaching in madrasah. The best thing is, the mum not really teach them. They all took distance learning as the whole curriculum. So the mum concentrate on other things. The second one which currently doing degree in Maths, is excellent. Well, so do the eldest one who already married. I lost speech. But, looking at the second one also, it's like my dream daughter. She the one who cook, clean, sort out the other siblings and etc if the mum not around. Even with the mum around, she the on who do all the cooking now. She not just make lovely food, but also they serve guests around 100+ during first day on eid, every time! She make everything from dessert, homemade snack and meal! Imagine! Subhana Allah...plus...all the daughter had so much fikir on deen.....Since age eleven after primary school, they all wear full black abaya and nikab! Yes, full with gloves, Subhana Allah....They had high manners and know every expect of deen. of course their mum is also strong in jamaat. Jamaat going in and out from the house from time to time. They been in jamaat, mum went in jamaat from time to time. And they live according to what need to be done to bring deen into their house. They life in iman and amal in their routine and living....What a nice things to see...

I always stop by their house when ever I went to Newcastle.

One day I stop by, one of the son is there for dinner. before he went out to masjeed, he said to his mum, "Jazaka Allah Huhairan mum for the food, Make doa for me..."

 I was like..wow.! He live just around the corner. But when you hear how he talk to his mum..Subhana Allah....Not just a hifz and alim, because knowledge now a day can be done as an info. But, when it come with manners and excellent behaviour...it's just great and complete way of life. Subhana Allah...the mum is an excellent great pious woman. They had to settle in UK after the husband finish PhD on the mesyuarat from Nizamuddin. I think I did mention this story before. Just that I cannot help from sharing about them from time to time...Just what a great family to be shown as example....They manage to produce not just homeschool daughters, (daughters are not easy to be brought up), but with degree and deen. I had meet the one who now live in US. She will be coming back for holiday next months and I cannot wait to meet her again. She got five kids also homeschool them. The best thing to look at is having not just a degree in one of difficult subject, Maths, but also someone who had been look after their aurah since puberty with full nikab. Something that I wish I can...Insya Allah...I know that what the parents had done is just bring what we learn and routine we lay while we are in jamaat in the house. In other word, bring the iman and amal we learn into practise....And the effect and end is excellent result not just for duniya, but hereafter...May Allah give me strength. Insya Allah.

MS Maths experience

I am just going to put some info here for my own copy and also to share with others about my experience.

When I first start homeschool MS, he was 10 years old back than. He was OK and haven't actually got trouble when he was in school. He was a famous kids especially when it's come to art. He been called an artist, so do my other kids. I been told by his teacher, that he is a bit behind and slow in his reading. I do notice that but didn't take much notice or further action. I thought as he is a boy. Although I did had some tiny worried about it back than as when he was a baby, he got a prolong jaundice and really quiet at the time. During his toddler years, he struggle to talk a proper conversation until he about 3 years old. This build an anger in him. Unlike PS who start talking properly as adult at the age of 1. I know that prolong jaundice can cause some damage in brain. But, hub think I was too over reacted. MS was sort of slow kids , if I am to compare with PS. Who is always active and cleaver. May be if I am to compare with her, being a girl and a first child.

Of course each kids is different. Therefore I just think that he will get his own way one day, one time. After I start homeschool, many thing had come up from him. I found out that he don't really like school as he always struggle to catch up with others. He is a bit slow in doing things. it is his way of doing things, and I do think it did had some little effect from the jaundice and being a number two in the family. Many things contributed into that which I cannot see just yet at the time. Subhana Allah.

When I am to compare with what I learn in my primary school with what they learn here, of course it was so much different in term of workload and level. Back there in Malaysia, the curriculum especially in Maths is so much higher than UK. Of course it's not good in some point if it's in all other subject as well. But, I do think that good in Maths is actually help our brain to work better, concentrate better and help how we look at things and solve problem in our day to day life. Maths for me, help our brain to work at it's best.

At the time, I was frustrated. I don't know where to start. I don't know how am I going to do this. When I see the curriculum he need and should work on for Maths, he seems so much behind. How on eart am I going to rectify it?

One thing I see with Maths is if we cannot master basic, than all other topic such as times, problem solving, fraction and many others will be a problem. Big problem. Therefore to master the basic of Maths which is Addition, Subtraction, Multiplication and Division is very important. Very very important indeed. Therefore I chuck out all the curriculum for Maths and level he should be doing and get him to master his Maths. I start with Addition and Subtraction. It might seems baby work at the time for ten years old boy, but he need to do plenty of exercise to master it in his brain. To train his brain. Than after a while, I moved him to Multiplication and Subtraction. We are on this basic Maths for one year. Yes, one whole year.

I had to ignore any other sub topic. He don't even be able to tell time properly at the time. He not been able to recognise the type of measurement. But, who care...at least for me. It has been up and down the lane. I make him do lots of Maths worksheet every day for hours and hours. Until he felt sick and I felt sick looking at them. I feel sorry for him, but I determine to put my feet firm on the ground. I believe, one day he will realise and look back he will thank me for been horrible to him.

As for lack in basic Maths and her sister is too good in it, he has a very low in self confidence. As we used Maths in our everyday life. He had to take long time to figure out small easy calculation of money and etc. He felt low and he think he just not as clever as others. It's just the way he is.

After a long battle and he started to master his Multiplication than come division, he start to gain confident. He find it getting easier and easier every time. I remember he playing Maths games. He hated it so much when I ask him to go on it. He always lost in short time. After so much training and exercise, one day when I get him to go on it, he win easily and pheww...his confident go over the roof, Subhana Allah....

At the time, I look into his eyes and said to him, look....after a long hard work and patient, there always a reward. What I want to teach him as well is that, nobody in these world is fool. Allah had give everybody the same brain. Only some people had to work hard and some don't have to. Plus, after hard work and patient, there always be a reward. Always.....From there on, everything change. I mean, everything. Once his confident had boost, he realise that in nothing come easy, but if he work on it, nothing hard. Everybody can achieve thing, if we want. If there is a will, there will always be a will. For me, it's very important for every kids to have this confident to pursue in their adult life. Live is not easy at some extent. We all had up and down. But, didn't mean we are a loser. There always a way to do things..Insya Allah..

Now, after four years from we first start our battle on Maths..after all the tears, shout and scream...( yes, I scream and shout...he just cannot get it like his mind is somewhere on the air!), he is not just boost his confident but also it change him. His concentration had gone from 0 to 9 out of 10. Therefore in our daily life now, things are easy and better with him. Well, not just better, but excellent..he is I could say, someone who had come a long way, but had made a big achievement and grow up very maturely indeed. Alhamdulillah again.

He is now working towards finishing the whole GCSE curriculum towards grade A-C. Insya Allah he is looking to finish it by end of this month with Conquer Maths. If he was in school, he still got year 10 and 11. Which is in some way, he will be two year in advance in Maths.

On that note, after he master with Multiplication and Division with printed worksheet from lots of website , I just mix and match, I get him on Mindsprinting for sometimes. Again he was on the same topic for sometimes before moved to different topic such as fraction, factors and etc. In between I get him to do his Maths workbook as well, from variety of publisher. Than I been introduce with Conquer Maths by dear homeschool friend. I out him on Conquer Maths which start the curriculum level from year 5. In between when it come to a new topic, Conquer maths actually didn't give much and deeper exercise. Like I said, it is important for Maths to do lots of exercise. I will usually stop him in the middle of Conquer maths and get him on workbook and worksheet for the topic. Such as Fraction, Factors, Decimal. There are workbook that concentrate on each topic individually for the whole workbook. Which mean plenty of exercise on the same topic. Which I love it very much. MS find it help a lots as well as after plenty of exercise, he will understadn better. Than we back on Conquer Maths and will stop in between the middle.

Now, Alhamdulillah as he seems getting on well on Algebra and equation from Conquer Maths, workbook and some worksheet, he start our new term with Conquer Maths for Year 9. He had just finish that. He wasn't actually happy to stay on it and said that he's not master some part of it and he want some workbook and revision on it. But, I told him that I want him to finish the whole of Conquer Maths Curriculum, than we can just get on focusing on individual sub topic and revision. Plenty of revision one after another. Plus it can be less teaching for him on that and he can just get on with plenty of revision , therefore we can start concentrate on other subject.

This is what he had done since we start our new term after Eid, Alhamdulillah:

• Ratio- using scale
• Rates- simplifying, problems 1, problems 2, 
• Number application - Simple interest, discount, profit & lost , commission, 
• Algebra 1- identifying number pattern, the nth term of a sequence, the gradient, equation of,
• Algebra 2- Grouping symbols IV, generalise arithmetic, factorisation by a common factor
• Equations- equation with bracket III, Equation involving fraction I, Equation involving substitution, Inequation, Solving problem using Equations
• Measurement & circle- The parts of circle, circumference, area of circle, volume of cylinder
• Geometry- Angel sum of polygon, Mixed example of angles, test for congruent triangles, regular polygons
• Pythagoras Theorem- Finding TH, Finding TH, Finding a shorter side
• Statistic- Finding the median from a table
• Representing Data- Travel Graph, Pie Graph
• Algebra- The midpoint
• Statistic- Stem and leaf plots I, scatter graphs and correlation
• Probability- Experiment of Probability, Making a list,

He got another three weeks to go to finish everything. Than I will go through one by one sub topic for Key stage four together with plenty of revision for GCSE Maths higher paper, Insya Allah. I had plenty of revision workbook for him from Key stage 3 revision test, key stage 4 and GCSE. I did talk to him about taking GCSE exam for Maths next summer, but we not certain anything yet at the moment. I would love him to. He seems OK with it. The only thing is he said he need lots of revision to master him with it. I am very very happy. Which is now I am concentrating with his English. Looks like we are moving somewhere also in his English although others might see it as little achievement or nothing. Not just that, I am trying to create this exciting things about writing, which ended up not just MS, but S and AS also ask to do writing! AS asking me last night at around 8pm! And yes, I start work with him at 8pm and he come out with quiet an xcellent story which shock to us! That will be in another post! Insya Allah..